This blog was created as a celebration of Joshua boy’s huge heart and life and the daily adventures and blessings of raising a child with autism and epilepsy. And to give encouragement and hope for parents who are raising a child with special needs. I love you forever my Joshua boy! (Joshua Michael Eisenstat --- January 26, 1983 - October 4, 2005)
I love my Joshua moments -- or kisses from heaven as I call them -- that can come at any time - as brief as a bag of McDonalds food in the middle of the road, or as amazing as running into four of Joshua's t-ball friends in the same day! And just two days after Joshua's birthday I had the floodgates of memory and emotion run very deep. I was sitting in my office at Seminaries and Institutes, when the foyer door opened, and a work friend Brooke, was helping an older gentleman in his walker through the doorway. As Brooke helped the gentleman steer the walker into the hallway it got caught and I jumped up and helped him get around the corner. I asked if they needed more help, but at the time they were fine. I started to go back into my office, but saw the gentlemen begin to fall sideways onto the floor. I sprang back over to assist him and helped hold him under his arms, while Brooke held the other side. At the same time one of my bosses, Joel, was at the far end of the hallway and saw what was happening, and immediately ran down the hallway to help hold the gentleman. As we all tried to help him back up, I was fully aware of the familiarity of what I was doing. When the gentleman mentioned he was not allowed to sit on the walker to be pushed down the hall, I immediately suggested a rolling chair that was in my office. They thought that was such a great idea! (I have to give Joshua's teacher Cory Thomas credit for that one!) Anyway, they ended up using a rolling chair from the Family History Center. And then we helped him onto the chair, and Brooke and Joel rolled him down the hall. As I was walking beside them, and the reality of the precious memories of Joshua rushed to the surface, my emotions came like a flood with joy and sorrow, with missing and longing, with sweet memories of a very treasured son. I returned to my office and sat in wonder at what I had just experienced. I had to hold back sobs because I had just had a very precious moment with Joshua. This was my life for years to serve my handsome and special son ... to lift and hold him ... to protect and comfort him. Joshua fell or had seizures without warning multiple times throughout each day! I absolutely miss this pure love and daily sacrifice each day. Joshua was not heavy, and this gentleman was not heavy. The Spirit of Christ was always present, as it was again today. As Joel and I talked to my other boss Doug about the experience, and what a tender mercy from heaven this was, Doug mentioned that perhaps Joshua had pushed the gentlemen over so I could have this very real and precious Joshua moment today! Joshua was quite rambunctious and created a lot of havoc, so that is definitely not beyond the realm of possibility!
As Joshua would have been 33 this week, I did pray for these kisses from heaven! I felt them as I took Jeremy to lunch -- who always loved sharing his birthday with Joshua and who still makes Joshua a part of his birthday! I felt them as Jeremy, Jamie, Jacob, Janson and I tell precious stories and feel our love for each other and for Joshua. I felt them as I attended the Mount Timpanogos Temple on his birthday with my wonderful sister-in-law Debbie, and as I ran into three friends who had special meaning in my life and in Joshua's life. I felt them with Jacob and Janson as we spent time at the grave and ice cream at McDonalds. I loved the family stories and memories, cards and sweet messages (by text and Facebook) and phone calls from family and friends! The floodgates of memories, and of course the floodgates of tears opened wide for me, a very thankful Mom, for some very real sweet moments with my Joshua boy that truly felt like kisses from Heaven!
Coreena White: We will always remember Joshua! Best neighbor we have ever had! We loved coming home to find Joshua on our porch swing, just waiting for us with his big smile. Or how about the time I got out of the shower to find him sitting on my bed! So many memories I can't choose just one. But I will never forget finding out he had gone back to live with his Father in Heaven and that the cause was an enlarged heart. Of course it was enlarged, no on had a bigger heart than Joshy. No doubt he is still asking "where's Selma" to everyone he meets and making everyone around him feel loved. XOXOX
Jamie and Chelsey with the White's house in the background!
Ford and Coreena White and family were always so good, kind and fun with Joshua. He loved to sneak over to their house, knock on their door, and get an enthusiastic "Joshua's here" greeting. And in he would walk! This occurred from 6:30am to 11:00pm. I had to watch him so close!
But the memory of him sneaking into their house when they were all gone, and going upstairs and throwing things over the bannister do bring a smile. At first I was horrified to find him in their house, with things thrown all over, especially since I could not physically get him to leave! I was finally able to get some neighbor boys to help me. But before we were able to get him out, he threw a hard item onto their beautiful front entrance table and knicked a piece out of it. I immediately left Coreena a message. They still love to tell the story of how worried I was, and when they saw the "small" size of the knick (that looked so large to me), they just smiled and said not to worry.
And now that Joshua has passed away, that knick is a very loving memory.
Seven years ago today my nephew Joshua passed from this mortal life at the young age of 22.
He was an autistic kid that had more love in his heart than most of us will ever experience.
He truly was an example of unconditional love we could all learn from. Here's to you Joshua... (Uncle John)
In
sweet and wonderful memory of my precious Joshua, who filled our lives with
pure love. January 26, 1983 - October 4, 2005. I miss him every day, and am
sooo thankful every day to be his Mom! I finally put together beautiful and loving words from family and friends, expressed when I shared some words to a song that says so
much about my journey with Joshua ...
“Now and Forever” by Carole King
Now and forever, you are a part of me
And the memory cuts like a knife
Didn't we find the ecstasy, didn't we share the daylight
When you walked into my life
Now and forever, I'll remember
All the promises still unbroken
And think about all the words between us
That never needed to be spoken
We had a moment, just one moment
That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime
We are the lucky ones
Some people never get to do all we got to do
Now and forever, I will always think of you
Didn't we come together, didn't we live together
Didn't we cry together
Didn't we play together, didn't we love together
And together we lit up the world
I miss the tears, I miss the laughter
I miss the day we met and all that followed after
Sometimes I wish I could always be with you The way we used to do
Now and forever, I will always think of you
Now and forever, I will always be with youabout our very unique and wonderful life together. I
love you my Joshua Boy forever!
“Now and Forever” by Carole King
Now and forever, you are a part of me
And the memory cuts like a knife
Didn't we find the ecstasy, didn't we share the daylight
When you walked into my life
Now and forever, I'll remember
All the promises still unbroken
And think about all the words between us
That never needed to be spoken
We had a moment, just one moment
That will last beyond a dream, beyond a lifetime
We are the lucky ones
Some people never get to do all we got to do
Now and forever, I will always think of you
Didn't we come together, didn't we live together
Didn't we cry together
Didn't we play together, didn't we love together
And together we lit up the world
I miss the tears, I miss the laughter
I miss the day we met and all that followed after
Sometimes I wish I could always be with you
The way we used to do
Now and forever, I will always think of you
Now and forever, I will always be with you
wow,
what a cute picture of you and your precious Joshua, He left a big hole in all
the hearts that he touched and changed! Happy birthday Joshua, you are so
missed
I
have always remember Joshua! and when he would come out of the nursery in
N.Hollywood 3rd Happy to see you picking him up. I love this picture of you
both. It puts more meaning to the saying!"You've Got An Angel On You
Shoulder"! Take care.
Love
that Selma! That pic brings a smile to my face when I see it. It reminds me
when I would watched him and you'd come and pick him up he would want that
piggy back ride to the car. What a boy! What memories...
I
have been thinking about you the past couple of days and remembering our last
time with Joshua getting him into the car to go to the hospital. He must have
been in pain but he still had a smile and little high five, thank you for
sharing him with all of us and letting us have an opportunity to serve him. In
serving him we served Christ and through him we felt Christ's love. Thank you
for bringing that blessing to all of us. Love you Selma, you are such an
amazing person. xoxoxo
Selma,
Joshua boy is very blessed to have you for his mother. I know you loved every
second of his 22 years. I was always in awe when I saw your loving care for
him. You were blessed with amazing qualities. He sure made our Larson family
parties lively, didn't he? I miss our get togethers. I love you and all your
kids. Have a great day! xoxo
One
of my favorite memories of Joshua is watching him (with unrestrained glee) push
his big green tractor down the hill - unmanned........ and then realize
"hey, I just pushed my big green tractor down the hill - unmanned.... and
now its gone :-( It was never gone long before a kind soul would bring it back.
Aaaahhhh - I do miss him! Love you, you're awesome!!
I
love the many, many memories from each of you. He LOVED everyone! And you all
make this day so special, and so tender, and I'm so thankful for amazing family
and friends (and strangers too) who loved Joshua so much and brought him great
fun and joy!
Selma
you just had me in tears. I have loved that song for a whole different reason
and when thought of for you and Joshua it has a whole different meaning. I
loved your son and am so thankful that I got to spend a couple of brief years
as his teacher. His life is such a bright remembrance. Thank you for
brightening my day!
Just
the thought of Joshua sitting on my porch waiting with his Barney tape or
throwing things out the car window brings a smile to my face. I miss his warm
and loving hugs and high fives. Have a wonderful day knowing how blessed we've
been to have him in our lives!
I
loved it when he liked to go for a ride in my car and when he would blow me a
kiss! I love Joshua and you! Two amazing people that have made so many peoples
lives better :)
It
truly is! I remember your video of Joshua and you used this song. It still
brings tears to my eyes and puts thoughts of your beautiful video of Joshua
when I hear it to this day.
This
song always makes me cry, but only because of Joshua!
Connie
Jo Pettis
I
always think of Joshua. He was the first baby I every held. You didn't panic
when I told you. I love him and all your family. Love you so my dear friend.
Nancy
Thompson
So
sorry to hear of the loss of your Son Selma. I'm sorry i didn't get to know
him. Hugs to you xoxo.
Bonnie
Workman
Selma
I remember our Joshua boy. I remember hiding around the corner to see how he
did when he got off the bus to go to the Hansen Planetarium with his school. He
is a doll and the picture says it all.
Love you Selma! I always think of Joshua this time of year! I miss the High 5's, "where's Selma" and his giggle!! He didnt weigh very much but could give me the biggest squeeze when he gave hugs.. I remember being at church one day and he pulled me onto his lap to hug me.. His strength took me by surprise. I also will never forget the beautiful experience in the temple on the 1st anniversary of his passing. One of the best days of my life in more ways than one. You are amazing and will always hold a special place in my heart! Love you!!
Love you too Whitney! I cherish each of those experiences also. I went to the Mt. Timpanogos Temple yesterday and thought a lot about your wedding day, which is a very cherished
Selma, We Love you guys so much and we were all thinking of you , your family and your sweet Joshua:) I always chuckle or happy cry when I think about when he picked up a fly, and I think about the story were the wasps or bees I don't remember witch didn't sting him in Debbies playhouse. I think that he not only had guardian angels but that the wasps or bees and flies knew he was harmless and that he was their friend.
Thinking of you today and loved being reminded of the wonderful ways in which your Joshua touched all of our lives. Hugs, high fives, and handshakes! Love you!
One of these days I'm going to go to TACO BELL in honor of Joshua. I'll never forget the time we went to Taco Bell, and every once in awhile, food was just fly out of the booth!
I was thinking about the grandkids and great-grandkids who have come down since Joshua went up to heaven. I believe he sent them down with a hug, a high five, and a handshake! Sierra Ruby must have been with him just days ago!
Seven years ago today, my big brother Joshua passed away. He was such a blessing and example to everyone who knew him. You will always be loved. I miss you buddy.
reading your shared photos from Jacob and Jeremy, brings back memories that we have of Joshua, and tears to my eyes. He was a wonderful young man, and it has been interesting to see simular behaviors in our Kanu. Love you Selma and your family.Bottom of Form
This might not make sense if you haven't met my nephew Joshua. For those that have, enjoy! Miss ya, Joshua Boy. — with Selma Anna Van Buren and Jamie Eisenstat.
This video is too amazing, precious, funny, beautiful, awesome, goofy, joyful and wonderful!! Joshua loved his bumpy rides! This video is priceless and I will watch it again and again. And even more priceless to hear him call "Jamie!!!"
We went to McDonald's with Thomas and James and told them all about Joshua. Then we came home and watched this video and Thomas asked, "Why isn't he throwing french fries out the door?"
Thinking of Joshua today!!! We love and miss him! I'll be forever grateful that he "approved" of me the first time he met me:) We'll be talking about him with the kids today!! :)
Seven years ago today my nephew Joshua passed from this mortal life at the young age of 22. He was an autistic kid that had more love in his heart than most of us will ever experience. He truly was an example of unconditional love we could all learn from. Here's to you Joshua...
I never had the privilege of meeting Joshua. But everything I was told about him through your family and my in-laws, I truly missed out on meeting an exceptional person. Thank you for sharing his story.
I'm sorry he was taken from you so young. I guess you were blessed with only that little bit of time, but lucky to have a great example of unconditional love. May his memory make you smile. Thanks for sharing his story with us. ♥
