"Come What May, and Love It" General Conference Talk

Favorite General Conference Talk

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

"Come What May, and Love It"

by Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin

October 2008

Jamie pushing Joshua at Zions National Park

This talk was given on October 4, 2008 - exactly three years after Joshua passed away.  I called my former boss, Charles Dahlquist, and asked if he could get me tickets to this session.  That was just the perfect place to be as we remembered Joshua.  Charles was able to get me 5 tickets, and they were amazing seats, not very far from the front!  I had hoped to feel Joshua's influence especially sweet that day, and there were Joshua moments all around us!  

First, Jamie was there with a friend, and my close and amazing friend Jill and her daughter Kerstin were also there.  That was a joy in itself!  The choir was a combined children's choir, and their first song was "I Am A Child of God" - one of Joshua's favorite songs, and one that Jill sang with Debi Jensen at his funeral.  And the children were adorable - especially on the big screen with their wiggles, smiles and innocense!  And then Elder Wirthlin spoke on trials, and specifically spoke about his own grandson with autism - see clip below.  And then Elder Holland spoke on the ministry of angels.  I will include that in a future clip.  I felt God's hand in a very special and sweet experience.  I am so thankful.

He does talk about the principle of compensation, which bring so much hope and perspective as we go through the hardest trials of our life.  

And then what made this talk even more meaningful was that it was Elder Wirthlin's last talk before he died.  We did not know that at the time, but we feel very honored and blessed to have seen him give this talk.

And his grandson played baseball!  It was so similar to sweet, funny and inspiring times when Joshua played adapted t-ball.  It was always incredible and filled with joy!!

Joshua and Jamie



Because Heavenly Father is merciful, a principle of compensation prevails. I have seen this in my own life. My grandson Joseph has autism. It has been heartbreaking for his mother and father to come to grips with the implications of this affliction.

They knew that Joseph would probably never be like other children. They understood what that would mean not only for Joseph but for the family as well. But what a joy he has been to us. Autistic children often have a difficult time showing emotion, but every time I’m with him, Joseph gives me a big hug. While there have been challenges, he has filled our lives with joy.

His parents have encouraged him to participate in sports. When he first started playing baseball, he was in the outfield. But I don’t think he grasped the need to run after loose balls. He thought of a much more efficient way to play the game. When a ball was hit in his direction, Joseph watched it go by and then pulled another baseball out of his pocket and threw that one to the pitcher.

Any reservations that his family may have had in raising Joseph, any sacrifices they have made have been compensated tenfold. Because of this choice spirit, his mother and father have learned much about children with disabilities. They have witnessed firsthand the generosity and compassion of family, neighbors, and friends. They have rejoiced together as Joseph has progressed. They have marveled at his goodness.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2008/10/come-what-may-and-love-it?lang=eng

"The Moving of the Water" General Conference Talk

Favorite General Conference Talk

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

"The Moving of the Water"

by Elder Boyd K. Packer

April 1991

That day of healing will come. Bodies which are deformed and minds that are warped will be made perfect. In the meantime, we must look after those who wait by the pool of Bethesda.

You parents and you families whose lives must be reordered because of a handicapped one, whose resources and time must be devoted to them, are special heroes. You are manifesting the works of God with every thought, with every gesture of tenderness and care you extend to the handicapped loved one. Never mind the tears nor the hours of regret and discouragement; never mind the times when you feel you cannot stand another day of what is required. You are living the principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ in exceptional purity. And you perfect yourselves in the process.

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1991/04/the-moving-of-the-water?lang=eng&query=Moving+of+the+Water

"Special Lessons" General Conference Talk

Favorite General Conference Talk

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

 

"Special Lessons"

by Elder Ronald A. Rasband

April 2012

Selma helping Joshua unwrap a present

Little brothers were awesome to play with Joshua

I love this talk given by the grandfather of a child born with special needs.  He begins his talk as follows:

For the past 20 months, our family has been blessed with the privilege of having a very special baby.

Little Paxton, our grandson, was born with a very rare chromosomal deletion, a genetic disorder that distinguishes him, literally, as one in hundreds of millions. For our daughter and her husband, an uncharted, life-changing journey began when Paxton was born. This experience has become a crucible for learning special lessons tied to the eternities. 

For the rest of the talk, please click on: https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2012/04/special-lessons?lang=eng

As he speaks of being "blessed" and eternal lessons, my heart is filled with gratitude for our own special lessons we learned for 22 years with Joshua, and even beyond his death.  We experienced and learned pure love, sacrifice, friendship and friendliness, service, prayer, compassion, strength and especially charity and the love of our Savior for each one of us.  Every day was a blessing with the various experiences, challenges, insights, sacrifice and love.  This blog is a celebration of these very special lessons and this very wonderful journey.

I am thankful every day that I was blessed to be Joshua's Mom.

Pleasant Grove High School 10 Year Reunion

Pleasant Grove High School

Class of 2004

Memorial Table for Joshua

Joshua's Senior Picture

A few months ago, Kimberly Friess, contacted my son Jeremy about setting up a memorial table at the Pleasant Grove High School 10 Year Reunion.  Jeremy called me right away, and I was so touched and thrilled!  What a beautiful honor!

I have always had warm tugs at my heart anytime I think of Joshua's 5-1/2 years at Pleasant Grove High School.  Joshua had incredible teachers with Lisa Clark and John Kernan.  He loved his keyboarding class with Cory Thomas - and he could only say her name all together!!  In fact, Cory is the one who thought of the rolling chair to get him from one class to another -- this was awesome on those days he would not walk!

Joshua also got to be with his Uncle Glenn, a math teacher, DJ and basketball coach, who became his security blanket in so many ways.  He rescued and helped Joshua on countless occasions.  And Joshua LOVED going to Glenn's basketball games.  They have a forever special bond!

The Lovely Lunch Ladies made him feel special every day with their help, friendship and patience.  They even wrote him a sweet and beautiful poem that captures their special bond.

Joshua and his brother Jeremy

And I think of these wonderful students and their acceptance, understanding and love!  When I would come to the school for various activities, I was constantly amazed at their enthusiasm with Joshua.  He got so many greetings walking down the hall.  He got high fives and handshakes, and of course many, many hugs for the pretty girls!  Jeremy started catching on to that, and when he would tell a cute girl he was Joshua's brother, of course, she thought that was awesome!

Joshua and Jeremy at PGHS Graduation

One day I met a young lady who had attended Pleasant Grove High School at the same time as Joshua and when I asked if she remembered him she got so excited and told me that when she and her friends saw Joshua coming down the hall, they would make a line, and as he walked by they would each give him a wonderful  high five!!  There is no doubt he loved every single minute.

And now tonight, with a sad, but thankful heart, I will set up a memory table at the reunion.

Some of the awards Joshua received at Pleasant Grove High School were:

Friendliest

Athlete of the Month

Student of the Month
Special Olympics medals

Certificate of Completion

Thank you Kimberly, and Class of 2004 for giving Joshua joy, friendship, love, understanding and amazing memories.  We love you!!!

"But If Not" by Lance B. Wickman

"But If Not"

Lance B. Wickman

October 2002

A Favorite General Conference Talk

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

My good friend, Joan, sent me this talk shortly after Joshua passed away.  She knew I needed to read it, and it certainly spoke right to my heart as Brother Wickman spoke of disabilities and death.  His words are beautiful, inspiring and bring much comfort and hope.  Here are the first three paragraphs, with the link below.  (I have underlined the phrases that spoke right to my heart.)   I know his words are true, that as we believe in the goodness of God, of His knowledge of us personally and of our sickness and sorrow, we will feel His strength, and His love, to help us as we trust in His plan for each of us.  I was blessed to be able to meet Brother Wickman a few years ago and thank him personally for his inspired words.  

His talk and testimony are a miracle to me because I felt peace and joy for the promises of eternity.  This talk will always hold a special place in my heart.

And the MEME below is actually a picture of Joshua's casket with these words by Elder Wickman that spoke personally to me of my love and gratitude for Joshua.

Some of my richest memories are associated with weekend assignments to stake conferences as I have accompanied a stake president in visits to members of his stake wrestling with life’s challenges in courage and faith, especially those who have lost a child or who are struggling valiantly in nursing a sick or crippled or handicapped child. I know from poignant personal experience that there is no night quite so dark as the loss of a child. Neither is there any day quite so long and exhausting as the relentlessness of caring for a child crippled in form or faculty. All such parents can empathize exquisitely with the father of the child afflicted with a “dumb spirit,” who, when admonished by the Savior to believe, responded in anguish of soul, “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief” (see Mark 9:17, 23–24).

And so today I wish to speak to all who are struggling in this laboratory of applied faith that is called mortality—and in particular to those bereaved, burdened, and grieving parents who beseechingly ask, “Why?”

First, please know that grief is the natural by-product of love. One cannot selflessly love another person and not grieve at his suffering or eventual death. The only way to avoid the grief would be to not experience the love; and it is love that gives life its richness and meaning. Hence, what a grieving parent can expect to receive from the Lord in response to earnest supplication may not necessarily be an elimination of grief so much as a sweet reassurance that, whatever his or her circumstances, one’s child is in the tender care of a loving Heavenly Father....

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2002/10/but-if-not?lang=eng

"Lord I Believe" - Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

"Lord, I Believe"

Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

April 2013

A Favorite General Conference Talk

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

This talk, given in the April 2013 General Conference as noted above spoke straight to my heart as Elder Holland spoke about the daily struggles and challenges of raising a child with disabilities.  The beauty of the love given by our Savior in his understanding, compassion and hope for healing, are there for each one of us in our individual and unique heartaches, challenges and struggles.  In reading these words, I know the Savior knew the depth of my fear, heartache and fatigue in dealing with Joshua's epilepsy and his seizures that were so very frightening and harmful.  I know we had more help than I realized, and am so thankful for pure love and compassion from His loving arms.

Joshua literally did fall into the water symbolically and literally and into the fire symbolically anytime he had a seizure.  Some of the most frightening seizures were in the bathtub or the pool.  Each of the kids helped during those times as I would have to call for help because I needed strength beyond my own.  I specifically remember a time when my daughter, Jamie, helped me hold Joshua up out of the water when he had a seizure in about 4 feet of water when we were swimming.  We both used all her strength to get him through that seizure so he would not drown.  Jamie's strength and determination were inspiring and such a blessing.  I also know I was given strength beyond my own spiritually as I could never have kept Joshua safe without the love and strength of my Savior, Jesus Christ.

Here are my favorite words, with the link of the full text of the talk below.

With no other hope remaining, this father asserts what faith he has and pleads with the Savior of the world, “If thou canst do any thing, have compassion on us, and help us.” I can hardly read those words without weeping. The plural pronoun us is obviously used intentionally. This man is saying, in effect, “Our whole family is pleading. Our struggle never ceases. We are exhausted. Our son falls into the water. He falls into the fire. He is continually in danger, and we are continually afraid. We don’t know where else to turn. Can you help us? We will be grateful for anything—a partial blessing, a glimmer of hope, some small lifting of the burden carried by this boy’s mother every day of her life.”

“If thou canst do any thing,” spoken by the father, comes back to him “If thou canst believe,” spoken by the Master.

“Straightway,” the scripture says—not slowly nor skeptically nor cynically but “straightway”—the father cries out in his unvarnished parental pain, “Lord, I believe; help thou mine unbelief.” In response to new and still partial faith, Jesus heals the boy, almost literally raising him from the dead, as Mark describes the incident.

^{For the entire text of the talk, go to:}

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/04/lord-i-believe?lang=eng