Joy at the Car Dealership

Joy at the Car Dealership!

I'm always amazed at the

impression Joshua left!  Earlier last year I was inside a car dealership.  In talking to the manager, he mentioned he lived in Pleasant Grove.  He seemed close to my age so I said that his kids might have known my older boys.  We talked about their ages and names, and they definitely had gone to school together.  But then once I mentioned Joshua, and his disability of severe autism and how he was the one who said hi to everyone, he excitedly said to me that he knew exactly who we were!  He said he would see us at the Pleasant Grove basketball games and I was the one always chasing Joshua around.  (I know that chasing a 6'1" tall handsome young man was certainly not easy to miss!)

I was truly touched because I could tell that he really enjoyed seeing Joshua at the basketball games, and because he was so sad when he heard that Joshua had died.

I will always love talking to people who knew and loved my special Joshua boy!  And this can happen even at a car dealership!

The Joshua Wave

The Joshua Wave

My brother Doug said that his 9-month old "baby Chase did a Joshua wave today.  It was deliberate - he was waving at the boys and then they freaked out.  He did a Joshua wave!!!!"

I love it - Joshua's wave was truly classic and unique and fun!  

Thanks Baby Chase!  He is just too cute!!

The Prayer of a Child

The Prayer of a Child

My brother Doug shared a prayer given by his cute daughter Kaylee earlier this year.  In her words, she said , 

"...bless Joshua that he will have a good time in Heaven..."

And I know that her prayer is answered.  I miss him every day, but I know that Joshua is having a very good time in Heaven. 

"Angels Calling" - Happy Father's Day Dad!

Happy Father's Day to my Wonderful Dad

This is my first Father's Day without you, and we all miss you so much!

You sacrificed for and loved your family every minute of every day.

My sister Susie found this song that is so beautiful, and has so much meaning.

I know that my angel Joshua, greeted his precious "Papa" home.

We love you Dad!

"Angels Calling"

The sun, the sun is going down.

All I see is love around me.

You know, what I believe.

Now I see it so completely.

I, I need you to know, that time, time is letting go.

Don't cry, dry your eyes.

Can't you hear the angels calling, me up? Up above?

Can't you hear the angels calling me home? Me home?

They're calling me home.

Take, take my hand.

Stay with me, as I surrender.

We've lived a life of happiness.

You will be in my heart forever.

I, I need you to know, that time is letting go.

Don't cry, dry your eyes.

Can't you hear the angels calling, me up? Up above?

Can't you hear the angels calling me home? Me home?

(They're) calling me home, home.

Home, home.

Home, home.

Don't cry, dry your eyes.

Can't you hear the angels calling me up? Up above?

Can't you hear the angels calling?

Don't cry, dry your eyes

Can't you hear the angels calling me up? Up above?

Can't you hear the angels calling me home? Me home?

Calling me home,

They're calling me home.

I'm going home

Share a Coke with Joshua

Share a Coke With Joshua

My sister Julie received her own kisses from heaven today!! 

I'll be on the lookout for my own! 

Who knew we could receive them on a Coke bottle! 

"Like a Broken Vessel" by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

"Like a Broken Vessel"

by Elder Jeffrey R. Holland

A Favorite General Conference Talk

The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints

There were a few times in Joshua's life when I caught a quick but powerful glimpse of him as "normal".  These moments did not last long but left an impression and influence on me to think of what he will be someday, and what he already is in heaven.  I love who Joshua was, even in his disabled mind and body, because I felt like he served and loved all he could with these limited capacities.

In fact, Joshua showed us how to love and live time and time again because the most important things to him were family, friends and service.  He LOVED saying hi and hugging people.  He loved trying to help - even when his efforts actually made more work.  (But I didn't tell him that and he wouldn't have understand that anyway.)  But he was so full of joy when he helped others.  He was the epitome of pure charity and love.

This amazing and inspiring talk has brought me much comfort.  I can picture my incredible son Joshua, already perfect, completely whole and healed, with his outstretched hands of love and joy.  That's who Joshua was in this life, and I will cry tears of joy to see him again someday, perfected, but still serving and loving with that same pure charity and love.

And Elder Holland also spoke so compassionately and eloquently to other emotional challenges and heartaches in this life.  He gives perspective and hope and love.

Thank you Elder Holland for this beautiful testimony.

#generalconference

For the entire talk, here is the link:

https://www.lds.org/general-conference/2013/10/like-a-broken-vessel?lang=eng

A Sister's Love and a Special Gift

A Sister's Love and a Special Gift

May 6, 2015

My beautiful daughter Jamie Eisenstat wrote about this touching and beautiful experience she had today about my angel son Joshua:

I just had the most powerful experience. Second period on Wednesday at Wasatch, there was a special needs boy sitting directly in front of me as we gathered after games to sing and testify. Brother Eggett quoted a line from Master the Tempest is Raging and asked if anybody knew what song that was. The special needs boy pronounced proudly "Master the Tempest is Raging!" And the biggest joyful smile came on his face when he realized he was right! Then he said "Peace, be still." It was such a sweet sight of pure joy. Then as we were singing that song, the boy sang with us the "Peace, peace be still" part. I then had an overwhelming feeling of the presence of my older brother, Joshua, who passed away 9 and a half years ago. We moved into the last song "Oh Sweet the Joy This Sentence Gives" and that special little boy sang the last verse with us. He was glowing with the light of Christ. I could not stop smiling at him and then, crying, as I again felt the physical presence of Joshua in the room, and along with him, our Father in Heaven and Jesus Christ, together moving through the crowd, touching and healing hearts. It was so overwhelming and beautiful. I have been moved today.

Joshua loved his sister!  And I can still hear him yelling "Jamieee" across the room and giving tall hugs to his small sister.  Thank you Jamie for sharing this beautiful and precious experience today.  I love you!

Picture Memory of the Week 1990 - The River - Our Second Home!

Picture Memory of the Week!

The River - Our Second  Home!

Joshua, age 7

By age 7 I knew that Joshua absolutely loved the river!  This was his own little heaven, and thus it was mine too!  He was so happy because he could throw rocks for hours, and hours, and hours into the river.  We just had to make sure that no one was playing in front of him, and that there were no other tangible items in sight because then they would be in the river with all of the rocks!

I was really amazed that there were even rocks left with the amount of times we spent on the banks of our favorite rivers.

Even up until a few days before he died, Joshua was still throwing rocks into the water.

Many days I just go and sit at the river, and remember those sweet and wonderful days.  Doug's kids are awesome because we will throw rocks in the river together, and as they throw a rock, they will call out "I love you Joshua!

I love you my handsome Joshua boy!

Picture Memory of the Week - 1986

Picture Memory of the Week

My Handsome Joshua Boy - 1986

Because Jesus Christ Lives ...

Because Jesus Christ Lives ...

Four Generations - 1983

Because Jesus Christ lives

I will live with my family forever:

My son Joshua Eisenstat (died 10/4/05)

My Dad John L. Larson (died 2/25/15)

and my Grandma Selma Larson (died 11/26/84)

And I will be with all 5 of my children always!
Joshua, Jeremy, Jamie, Jacob & Janson

Our last family photo - 2004
Jeremy, Jamie, Jacob, Selma, Janson & Joshua

Families are forever!

 7 And if Christ had not risen from the dead, or have broken the bands of death that the grave should have no victory, and that death should have no sting, there could have been no resurrection.

 8 But there is a resurrection, therefore the grave hath no victory, and the sting of death is swallowed up in Christ.

 9 He is the light and the life of the world; yea, a light that is endless, that can never be darkened; yea, and also a life which is endless, that there can be no more death.

Book of Mormon, Mosiah 16:7-9

#fourgenerations, #happyeaster, #jesuschrist, #resurrection

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BZqTRSVA1YA&feature=youtu.be

Rosebush Thoughts - Marlee DiCristofano

Rosebush Thoughts - Marlee DiCristofano

Neighbor and Friend

I came across this beautiful letter from a cherished neighbor and friend from Pleasant Grove.  I loved reading it again.  When I see a rosebush, I will think of my Joshua, and my friend Marlee, with love, joy and gratitude.

June 1, 2010

Selma,

I wanted to share something with you that brought tears to my eyes and made me very joyful.  Remember that rosebush that would never blossom for many years?  It was beautiful, green and big but never reached its full potential because it could never blossom.  I never gave up on it.  Last year it started blossoming many beautiful pink roses.  It is blossoming this year again.  I could only think of Joshua and how he finally got to reach his full potential outside of his limited body.  He can do so much amazing work from the other side of the veil.  I think of that rosebush as my Joshua rosebush.  I let it grow as high and far as I can every year.

Love you,

Marlee

Pennies from Heaven

Pennies from Heaven

So when you see coins in the road, you can know they are "pennies from Heaven" 

and smile and think of our handsome Joshua boy, having the time of his life, 

while very happily and joyfully throwing countless coins in the road.    

Joshua loved Uncle Doug!

I love flash-back memories.  I was in training last week to provide family support to adults with disabilities, and they started teaching us about those adults who "throw" things.  It will take me the rest of my life to remember all of those experiences!

But as they talked about keeping windows in cars closed, the one that immediately came to mind was when Uncle Doug took Joshua for a drive on a hot summer day.  Well, Doug's car did not have air conditioning.  I'm sure you can see this picture already.  So he absolutely had to have the windows down.

Doug had papers and lots and lots of coins all over the floor and seat.  It did not take long until Joshua had thrown every paper, and most or all of the coins all over the roads in Pleasant Grove.  To this day, Doug still does not know what papers he lost, or how much money was thrown.

The miracle in these many throwing experiences, is that not one time were we ever pulled over by a police officer.  That definitely would have been an interesting experience!

So when you see coins in the road, you can know they are "pennies from Heaven" and smile and think of our handsome Joshua boy, having the time of his life, while very happily and joyfully throwing countless coins in the road.  

Joshua and Papa - Escape into Heaven!

Joshua and Papa ... Escape into Heaven!
February 25, 2015

But now, he has escaped into heaven.  
And there is no doubt that Joshua was right there saying, "Papa, come here..."

Joshua and Grandpa at one of their favorite places - Zion National Park!
So many memories ... so much joy!

As I sat in my dad's hospital room watching him slip away from this life, I felt so deeply thankful for the blessing to have such an incredible man as my father.  He is the epitome of selflessness, hard work, sacrifice, and everything he has done has been for his wife, his children, his family, his church family and work friends.  Everything ...  

True love, at its finest!

And that makes his death that much more painful and lonely.  We always knew of his huge heart and love.  We always knew he wanted to help and be there for us.  And he and my mom were always there!  He died on February 25, 2015, just 3 days before his 90th birthday.  He leaves behind a legacy of love with his 12 children, his grandchildren, great-children and many loving family members and friends.

 And the love he has shown my Mom, their entire marriage, is inspiring, and a true love story.  He showed us everyday how much he loved his "wifie."  We always knew she meant everything to him!  In fact, we believe he hung on so long because he did not want to be without her.

His 90th birthday is on Saturday, February 28th, and we will love telling stories and examples of his love and sacrifice.  The stories are endless, they are powerful, they are full of love, and they are special!  He served in the Navy and we all love this awesome and handsome picture of my dad in his Navy uniform.

Grandpa holding Joshua ... a special bond from the start!

My Joshua and his "Papa" had a very special relationship from the day he was born.  I can still see my dad, sitting in my hospital room shortly after Joshua was born, and he was just chuckling with joy!  Papa loved having Joshua visit.  He would beam, he would chuckle.  Joshua knew that Papa loved him!!

We have hundreds of memories at Zion National Park, at the Sun Valley house, at the St. George house, McDonalds, multiple parks, and many, many other places.  In fact, Joshua would make such a mess at the St. George house that right when we would walk in, my dad would hand me a bottle of Windex and a rag.  We knew it would certainly be needed within minutes for sure!  His fingerprints are probably still all over their house!

My Dad, with sons Carl & Glenn at Joshua's graveside.

Papa was so sad, so devastated when Joshua died.  He lost his special buddy!  That very night, he and Susie watched slides of Joshua when Susie arrived in town, in the middle of the night.  He loved his Joshua!  He and I have loved to tell Joshua stories the last 9 years.  And I always cherish when he will randomly just say "I miss that boy."  I do too, every day!

Just a few days ago, as my Dad lay dying in the hospital from old age and dimentia, I called, and I talked to him - he did not say anything.  But after I hung up he said to Mom, Carl, Nancy and Ashley, "Where's Selma?"  Then Mom said he said "I saw a picture of Selma."  My Dad knew that I would need to hear that wonderful "Where's Selma" phrase.  And what a treasure that will always be.

His mental health went downhill fast.  In fact, they compared his actions to Joshua's behavior.  So many memories of Joshua doing the same things that my dad was doing. But our hearts broke at his confusion and his pain.  He wanted my brother, John, to help him escape from the hospital.

But now, he has escaped into heaven.  

And there is no doubt that Joshua was right there saying,

 "Papa, come here..."

We love you Dad and Papa!

Grandpa holding Jeremy and Joshua - Joshua is about to escape!

Joshua and Grandpa on the Narrows Hike in Zion National Park
We have been on that hike countless times!

Joshua being silly, and Grandpa looking on with joy!

Joshua and Grandpa at the beginning of the Narrows Hike at Zion National Park.
Jeremy is holding Jamie's hand behind them.

Grandpa helped Joshua on a flight to St. George, Utah.
This was no easy task -- this would not have been one of the quieter flights for sure!

Joshua and Grandpa at Zions National Park.
It really was a favorite place!

Grandpa, Joshua and friend Brad Barnes at Zion National Park.
Joshua's legs must be tired, but he still loves it!

Grandpa and Joshua both have legs that are more tired as time goes on.
Littlest brother Janson is helping to push Joshua's wheelchair!

Grandpa and Joshua enjoying the Virgin River at Zion National Park.
This is one way to rest tired legs -- just sit and throw rocks in the river!

Joshua, Grandma & Grandpa enjoying a fun moment!
This was the year Joshua passed away but he always found so much
joy in being with family!

We love you Mom & Dad, Grandma & Grandpa!

Me and My Great Kids!

Chairs at Church - Joshua can help too!

Chairs at Church

Joshua Can Help Too!

Yes, the process was slower this way.  But it was also filled with much more joy and fun! 

Every day I smile as simple acts around me bring such sweet memories of my Joshua boy!

Yesterday afternoon, I was rehearsing at the front of the chapel at Church and noticed several men taking down the folding chairs in the overflow area.  I smile inwardly and outwardly as I could vividly picture my cute and handsome Joshua, so eager to help with this very "simple" task.

But he couldn't quite do it!  He just could not get the chair from a normal sitting position and fold it up ready to lean against the wall!  He had to do it his way.

So we all allowed him to "think" he was helping us a lot as he would bring us all one chair at a time.  You never knew  who he would choose to hand the chair to and in his enthusiastic way say "here!"  And you had to be ready because he was not very patient, and when he was ready to give it to you, he was ready for sure!

But I can just see him after handing the chair over, he would either clap his hands, or give a little happy hop, or possibly say "I did it."  And then he would receive high fives and "way to go" comments and many thanks.  He was needed and he was important!!  And he was happy!

And on to find the next chair he would go.

Yes, the process was slower this way.  But it was also filled with much more joy and fun!  We all need a Joshua to help take down those chairs at the end of a Sunday!

A Debacle at Disneyland -- Joshua Memories!

A Debacle at Disneyland

...he suddenly grabbed a cute stuffed animal out of a baby stroller near us, and flung with all his might that cute stuffed animal clear out into this water surrounding Tom Sawyer's Island.  

As you see Joshua (green shirt) looking so innocent and sweet in the picture below, standing next to his younger brother Jeremy, and looking out at Tom Sawyer's Island, you would never realize the tough situation he had just gotten us into!  Well either just moments before, or perhaps after, this picture was taken, we had one of many sudden "oh no" moments with Joshua!!

Jeremy & Joshua looking at Tom Sawyer's Island

We had dared to take Joshua to Disneyland, hoping he would really enjoy the excitement, the rides, the people and the fun!  Because he was so high maintenance, we only brought one sibling, as we knew Joshua would need every minute of our attention.   The day went fairly smooth -- but the benefit given to those with disabilities helped a lot as Joshua could not stand in long lines.  This was a blessing and helped to avert tantrums, aggression and confusion for him.

We had just stopped to take a break and look at the water surrounding Tom Sawyer's Island.  Well, Joshua LOVED water!  And had spent many, many hours throwing rocks, and anything else within reach, into numerous rivers.  And he had a very, very keen eye, and before we could even see or stop him, he suddenly, with lightning fast speed, grabbed a cute stuffed animal out of a baby stroller near us, and flung it with all his might clear out into this water surrounding Tom Sawyer's Island.  

I gasped in horror, and immediately gave my best apology to the mom pushing the stroller, and quickly asked where she had gotten it in Disneyland so we could hurry and purchase another one for her.  She replied with frustration that it was not purchased at Disneyland and was her child's favorite stuffed animal.  I gasped (with even more horror inside), and felt terrible!  I told her we would do everything we could to get that animal out of the water.  Yet inside, I was feeling quite stressed as I really didn't know how this was going to be accomplished!

Between his dad and I, we were able to find a worker at Disneyland, explain the difficult situation, and plead for help to retrieve this very precious stuffed animal!  Well, the Disneyland workers were fabulous, and worked very, very hard to bring that animal back to shore.  It did take a while, and while we were doing all we could to help, waiting and hoping, the mom did seem to relax and realize that this was not an intentional, deliberate naughty child.  In my apologies I had explained that Joshua had autism and did not realize what he was doing.  And I'm sure she also noticed that during this entire long time of retrieving the stuffed animal out of the water, we really did have to stop Joshua, with his very long and quick arms, from throwing many more items into the water of other unsuspecting Disneyland visitors!

Thankfully, the stuffed animal was at last retrieved, and mom and child were happy even though the stuffed animal was wet!  She truly accepted our apologies.

Jeremy, as always, was a wonderful, kind, patient and loving brother.  He was always incredible!!

We then tried to stay away from any water after that.  One long retrieval of a treasured stuffed animal was enough for one day for sure!  (If you ever been at Pleasant Grove Pool when Joshua was there, you might have had your flip flops, sunglasses or towel thrown in and will completely relate to this story!)

Joshua & Me with Jeremy

We did enjoy the rest of the day as you can see in the pictures below.  My back did begin getting very tired after about 4 hours of Joshua on my back.  So this was one of the first times (or maybe the first time) that we used a wheelchair to help get Joshua around.  He was tired, I was tired and the wheelchair was a huge blessing!!  And amazingly he stayed in it too.

This was a treasured, fun and special day!

Jeremy & Joshua on the Tea Cup ride - we did not spin the Tea Cup at all!

Joshua & Jeremy in front of "It's a Small World"

Mike, Joshua & Jeremy in front of The Jungle Cruise.
Thankfully there were no items thrown into this water!!

Joshua & Jeremy -- Birthday Brothers Forever

Joshua & Jeremy
Birthday Brothers Forever ---

Joshua shared his birthday parties with Joshua and we always celebrated together.  
Jeremy's friends also included Joshua in these celebrations with love and acceptance.  



On January 26, 1985, at Joshua's second birthday party, my water broke two weeks early, and just under 4 hours later, Jeremy John Eisenstat was born.  What a special day this was!!  From the time he was born, Jeremy has been a blessing to our entire family, and a very special blessing to his brother Joshua.  

Within two years, Jeremy automatically became the "big" brother as he watched over, played with, took care of and truly loved his brother Joshua.  He grew up very early as Joshua's disabilities became more and more evident. This picture of Jeremy pushing Joshua in the stroller is a classic example of a younger brother serving his older brother his entire life!

 Joshua shared his birthday parties with Joshua and we always celebrated together.  Jeremy's friends also included Joshua in these celebrations with love and acceptance.  

When Joshua passed away, Jeremy was serving his mission in the New Zealand Wellington Mission.  This was the hardest phone call we ever had to make.  Through much prayer, Jeremy felt the best place for him to be was on his mission.  During this heart-wrenching time, he wrote this talk (link below).  His inspired words give a wonderful depiction of the relationship he and Joshua shared.  His love, humor and tenderness have always touched my heart.  I love you Jeremy and Joshua!!

http://joshuasheartfullofhugs.blogspot.com/2013/01/brothers-forever-he-was-and-is-best-big.html

And here also is a collage of pictures of these birthday brothers forever!

Me with my two beautiful boys!

Just the beginning of a special brother bond!

Grandpa Larson (my dad) with Jeremy & Joshua

Jeremy & Joshua at Disneyland -- Joshua had just
thrown a child's stuffed animal into Tom Sawyer's river!

Jeremy - always served and loved his brother!

Joshua & Jeremy - more brotherly love!

Me, Joshua, Jeremy & Jamie at the St. George Temple...
just the year before Joshua died.

Joshua & Jeremy ... the picture says it all!

Joshua & Jeremy's Graduation Day from
Pleasant Grove High School.  A special day!