A Christmas Story - Angels at Bath & Body Works

A Christmas Story

Strangers Turned Angels at "Bath & Body Works"

"I felt immediate relief as complete compassion was shown by this wonderful employee. 
There was no frustration, only concern and love."

Joshua and Selma.
We always loved being together!

How can I adequately express my gratitude and tenderness for the countless kindnesses given to me from people I had never met before.  But who quickly became friends with treasured memories. 

Bath & Body Works

It was Christmas 2003.  I was shopping with Joshua, Jeremy and Jeremy’s friend, Brett Sorensen.  Joshua  was still recovering from his two broken jaws, and so we brought him to the Mall in his wheelchair.  Joshua loved the Mall.  There were so many people to say hi to, give high fives and many smiles.  With the usual Christmas list, we decided to go in Bath & Body Works.  This was tricky with Joshua as the wheelchair fit down the aisles, but the displays were well within reach of his long arms.  While exerting much attention and strength to make sure his long arms did not throw a lotion or soap, It seemed like everything would be okay and I thought we had made it through without incident.

But then suddenly Joshua had a grand mal seizure right next to a nice display of various bath and body items.  

As is usual during a seizure, his body can flail and his arms began knocking down the items and sent many of them crashing on to the floor.  Jeremy and Brett were helping as best they could, as we tried to hold his thrashing body, keep him safe and lessen the amount of items crashing to the floor.  Of course, this caused quite a ruckus in the store, and a store employee quickly appeared. 

I felt immediate relief as complete compassion was shown by this wonderful employee.  There was no frustration, only concern and love.  We all worked through the seizure, protecting Joshua, soothing him, and after the seizure subsided, and as soon as possible, we were able to leave the store.  

The focus and attention from the employees of the store were to make sure Joshua was safe and taken care of, before anyone worried about cleaning up the mess in the store.  There was no guilt or blame as they were left with this extra work and expense, only complete empathy and understanding in helping us to be okay.  #bath&bodyworks

This was a priceless moment.

This was a gratitude moment.

This brought the true spirit of Christmas.

The Storms of Life ... The Symbolism of Lighthouses

The Storms of Life ...
The Symbolism of Lighthouses ...

I reverently touched the lake water, so symbolic of the living water. I gently looked up at the light of the lighthouse, so symbolic of the light of Christ. 

Marblehead Lighthouse 2013

Marblehead Lighthouse 2018 - Mark Larson

My brother ... Mark Larson

In a 2013 trip to Ohio to visit my brother Mark, we were able to visit the Marblehead Lighthouse.  When we first drove up to this lighthouse, I was overwhelmed by the beauty of the lighthouse and surrounding area.  It is located on Lake Erie, which is so large, it actually looks like the ocean.  The landscaping was incredible.  There was a beautiful grassy picnic area, large rocks and an area with a lot of trees.  It was truly stunningly peaceful and beautiful.  We walked around each of these areas, enjoying every moment of the beauty of our surroundings. 

Me enjoying this incredible state park!

Within a few moments, the raindrops began to fall – at first they were small, and we were able to still enjoy our visit.  I reverently touched the lake water, so symbolic of the living water.  I gently looked up at the light of the lighthouse, so symbolic of the light of Christ.  The rain began falling harder, but I wanted to stay, and bask in the warmth and symbolism of this experience. 

The lighthouse through the windshield in the pouring rain!

But the rain suddenly became a downpour – harder than any rain in Utah!!  I still stayed for just a few moments, and finally began running back to the car.  By the time I reached the car, I was literally and completely soaked through!  As we sat in the car, I kept looking at the lighthouse, with the windshield wipers on.  The rain was so intense that I could not always see the lighthouse, but I knew it was there!  I kept looking, wanting to get in every glance that I could.  I wanted to stand closer, and visit longer.

This was such a sweet experience as the symbolism of lighthouses have given me much needed strength through the trials of my life.  For the past 15 years I have collected lighthouses, as that is when the storms of my life were the most intense and severe.  The storms of our broken family, of Joshua's disability, his many injuries and heartbreaking changes and challenges in our life.  There were many days that the storms seemed to rage from every direction possible.  I know that the light of our Savior strengthened me, carried me, inspired me, blessed me, and gave me much needed hope and love during these intense, long and ferocious storms.  Every lighthouse is a treasure as the reminder is beautiful, is comforting and warms those cold places that the ferocious winds bring in.

Me - Santa Cruz Lighthouse 2006

Shortly after Joshua died, my siblings, Vickie and Mark, treated me to a trip to Santa Cruz.  The family time together was such a blessing.  All of us loved Joshua with all of our hearts, so we remembered and mourned and laughed together.  We stood at the feet of the Santa Cruz lighthouse, watching the crashing waves, feeling the beauty of this earth, and looking at this grand lighthouse.  They left me some moments by myself, time to ponder with gratitude on the Light!  How thankful I am for the presence of the light of the Savior present in the storms of our life, if we let Him be there.  He is always there for us - we need to always  have our hearts open to Him.

Santa Cruz Lighthouse - Vickie, Me, Mark

Throughout the years, I have loved looking at pictures of lighthouses with the waves crashing into the shore, or against the lighthouse, with the lighthouse standing strong, giving its light, and showing the way for all travelers still in the midst of the storm.  One of my favorite scriptures that has given me hope and light in facing the storms of life is 1 Nephi 17:2-13 (see below). 

We all have our journeys, our wildernesses, and our storms to pass through, and we are promised the light of the Savior through these wildernesses and dark times of our lives. I know that as we look to Christ at all times, and in all places, and all things, we will feel and see His light, and we will be led, guided and loved with the purest and most joyous love we have ever felt.


1 Nephi 17:2-13, The Book of Mormon

2 And so great were the blessings of the Lord upon us, that while we did live upon raw meat in the wilderness, our women did give plenty of suck for their children, and were strong, yea, even like unto the men; and they began to bear their journeyings without murmurings. 

3 And thus we see that the commandments of God must be fulfilled. And if it so be that the children of men keep the commandments of God he doth nourish them, and strengthen them, and provide means whereby they can accomplish the thing which he has commanded them; wherefore, he did provide means for us while we did sojourn in the wilderness.

4 And we did sojourn for the space of many years, yea, even eight years in the wilderness.

5 And we did come to the land which we called Bountiful, because of its much fruit and also wild honey; and all these things were prepared of the Lord that we might not perish. And we beheld the sea, which we called Irreantum, which, being interpreted, is many waters.

6 And it came to pass that we did pitch our tents by the seashore; and notwithstanding we had suffered many afflictions and much difficulty, yea, even so much that we cannot write them all, we were exceedingly rejoiced when we came to the seashore; and we called the place Bountiful, because of its much fruit.

7 And it came to pass that after I, Nephi, had been in the land of Bountiful for the space of many days, the voice of the Lord came unto me, saying: Arise, and get thee into the mountain. And it came to pass that I arose and went up into the mountain, and cried unto the Lord.

8 And it came to pass that the Lord spake unto me, saying: Thou shalt construct a ship, after the manner which I shall show thee, that I may carry thy people across these waters.

9 And I said: Lord, whither shall I go that I may find ore to molten, that I may make tools to construct the ship after the manner which thou hast shown unto me?

10 And it came to pass that the Lord told me whither I should go to find ore, that I might make tools.

11 And it came to pass that I, Nephi, did make a bellows wherewith to blow the fire, of the skins of beasts; and after I had made a bellows, that I might have wherewith to blow the fire, I did smite two stones together that I might make fire.

12 For the Lord had not hitherto suffered that we should make much fire, as we journeyed in the wilderness; for he said: I will make thy food become sweet, that ye cook it not;

13 And I will also be your light in the wilderness; and I will prepare the way before you, if it so be that ye shall keep my commandments; wherefore, inasmuch as ye shall keep my commandments ye shall be led towards the promised land; and ye shall know that it is by me that ye are led.

Video from Hunter Joshua Larson

Video from Hunter Joshua Larson --

born just 6 days after Joshua died

Posted by my brother, Doug Larson:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zaH9SP4yS9k&feature=player_embedded

Video from Hunter Joshua Larson – priceless!

Hunter:  Joshua died … after 6 days I was born. 

Doug:  So you got to spend 6 days with Joshua in heaven.

8 Years - Thoughts from Me and Others

October 4, 2013 --

Thoughts from Me and Others

"You'll be with me, like a handprint on my heart"

In celebration of my incredible, unique Joshua Boy, who died 8 years ago on October 4, 2013, and in appreciation for his amazing and loving siblings - Jeremy, Jamie, Jacob and Janson - and all the joy and love they brought into his life, and for wonderful family and friends who brought even more joy, acceptance and love.  I love the words of the song "For Good" and all it means to us and Joshua's life.  The loss of Joshua in this life is deep and sorrowful.  I miss him more than words can express.  I am always thankful to be called "Where's Selma" and to be his Mom!

"I've heard it said that people come into our lives for a reason

Bringing something we must learn

And we are led

To those who help us most to grow - if we let them.

And we help them in return ...

But because I knew you

I have been changed for good

It well may be that we will never meet again in this lifetime

So let me say before we part

So much of me, is made from what I learned from you

You'll be with me

Like a handprint on my heart..."

Joshua definitely left a beautiful handprint on my heart.  I love you Joshua!!


Comments from others on this special day of remembrance:

Deann Sarff Torsak

Sending high fives your way!!

Linda Petersen

What sweet memories of such a wonderful spirit! Barney, wheel of fortune, "where's Selma?", and high fives make me smile!

Emily Moore Bennett

Hugs, handshakes and high fives! An of course lots of love!

Tina Rollins

Love that boy and you- forever and always!

Debbie Hayes Fonohema

I say it every year, I miss objects coming over my fence! And every time u look at the hole in our basketball standard I think if him filling it with rocks! Blessed to have had him in our lives!! High Fives for Joshua!!

Bryan McEwan

This was just a few days before we welcomed our #3 fully into this mortal existence. I remember the smiles and the joy he brought for all who met him. You have a great family and will always remember the light you continue to be to all around you. Hugs!

Kelli Jean Majors Harris

Where's Selma? Right there!!!! He was always right... You were always right there Selma!!! Loved him and think about him all the time!

Bill Cortes

How sweet Selma. He absolutely left an impression on you and the rest of his wonderful family. God be with him till we meet again. God bless you too Selma.

Wendi Webb Frederickson

Thinking of you Selma and your family. Love you!

Brenda Sparks Renslow

Love you and love him! Thanks for sharing him with us!

Christina Brown

His handprint will always be on your heart and everyone who knew him. I can't believe it has been 8 years. Love to you and your family.

Suzie Sakata Rodela

What a beautiful tribute to your son! Love and blessings to you and your family.......

Jilane Bodily

Miss that boy!

Shelley Benefiel Muhlestein

I remember that day well and how strong you were...I can't believe it has been eight years. We miss you and your family and Josh over in our neighborhood.

Stacy Jensen Cattelain

I am blessed to have known him and get kisses blown my way! Love you too sweet Selma :)

Lisa Wada Mann

Selma - such a beautiful and touching tribute to not only your son, but for others that were touched by his blessed life.

Amanda Orgill Nielson

Loved him! In the short times I saw him he brought so much joy! Such a beautiful person!

Connie Jo Pettis

"Where's Selma" - - I love you my dear friend!

Anna Larson Collins

Selma ~ You are an incredible Mother, Sister, Friend, etc. Joshua was and is so blessed to have you and your other sweet kids. I'm blessed to be your Sister and Joshua's Aunt. He always made me smile. I miss him. I'll celebrate after work by eating his favorite McDonald's meal. :)

Paul Nolan

Selma, I'm sorry for your loss and the pain of remembering your son. He always looks so happy in the photos that you post. For the short time he was with you he was loved and well taken care of. Children are not supposed to die...Parents expect to see their children grow and mature. Ultimately, parents expect to die and leave their children behind...This is the natural course of life events, the life cycle continuing as it should. The loss of a special-needs child is the loss of innocence, the death of the most vulnerable and dependent. The death of a child signifies the loss of the future, of hopes and dreams, of new strength, and of perfection. Take care and God bless.

Laura Cline Pelos

Selma You have shared such beautiful memories with us! God Bless your family.

Martha Orgill Gudmundson

Can't believe it's been 8 years. "wa wa what happened?" I still sometimes say some of his great "one liners" and it always brings a smile and a laugh when I think of him and the things he said. Hope you're doing well. xo

Rachelle Randall Hiatt

Love him always! He taught me things in the way only he could! Sending hugs your way today Selma!

Ana Belvedere

I love your family and all the blessings we have shared with one anther. Paul and I are greatful for the time we all were neighbors . I love you

John Larson

I remember this day like it was yesterday, do glad we can remember and honor Joshua. There's gonna be a lot of McDonalds fries on the road today!

Ana Belvedere

The memories of Joshua will never fad.

Amber Hutchings

This is so beautiful Selma!

Tina Rollins

Ah I miss that guy! If it weren't for him and you I would not be who I am today. I love you all so much!!

Glenn Larson

Wher iz he?

Lisa Connolly
Wish I would have known him!! Thanks for writing about him and letting us get to know him! You are an amazing mom!

Ray Maxwell

An angel set to help us all understand love and compassion, thanks for reminding us.



Journal Entries by Joshua's Mom

JOURNAL ENTRIES --

“All one had to do was to let you love them,

and they could see the beauty and love that was in your soul.“

July 20, 2006

I just came from sitting beside your grave.  Tears flowed from my eyes as I continue to ache and miss you with my very soul.  I cried, and I touched your sweet face that is on your tombstone.  I thought it very appropriate today that there were several wasps buzzing around your grave, and even lighting on the plant that Janson is growing for you.  I think of Glenn’s story in his funeral talk how the wasps did not bite you, and Vickie’s analogy that even the wasps knew that they did not need to fear you.  All one had to do was to let you love them, and they could see the beauty and love that was in your soul.  I wonder many days how to live without you in my life.  This may seem confusing to the outsider who only saw the work, patience and physical strength it took to care for you, to keep you safe, to keep you happy and to give you a fulfilled life.  But to those who truly knew you and loved you, they know that your pure love, your innocence, your enthusiasm, your humor, your cute personality and the light in your eyes brought an understanding and joy to life that was your special talent and ability to give.  How hard it is for me to do so many things – to walk into church, to go to a family, ward or neighborhood activity, to walk into Glenn’s basketball game, to go to the park, to walk into a store, to go to a party or celebration, etc., etc.  Even I smile myself over this since many of those very activities seemed outwardly hard for me to attend to other people.  I love Glenn’s story about how you high-fived every player on the opposing girl’s basketball team.  I remember that well since it obviously took a few minutes to get to our seat, and there were even a few seconds there where I wondered if we would make it to our seat, and I was certainly relieved when we did make it there.  But the lesson you taught us in those few moments is one of the many daily lessons we all learned from you.  The opposing team was not the enemy, they were our friends, just as every person you passed wherever you went was your friend.  I remember with a smile on the face this one lady that sincerely asked after you gave her one of your big greetings, “Do I know him?” and I responded that you “knew everyone.”  Isn’t that so true?

August 5, 2006

I was always so proud of you, and felt such joy, as you would happily meet as many people as you could, whether it was a quick handshake, a short “hi hi hi” or a “come ‘ere.”  You were the social glue that cemented each activity, as each person knew and felt of your love and friendship.  I LOVED being your Mom, also meeting each person, quickly saying hello (most of the time there wasn’t much time for more than that as you would immediately find someone else to say hello to), and loving the fact that we walked hand in hand, bonded and close, in these many moments of friendship, unity and joy. 

Poem by Aunt Cynthia

I AM A MISSIONARY --

By Cynthia Clarke, Joshua's Aunt

October 15, 2006

If I could have chosen another way

To have lived my life on earth

Or blessed with a higher IQ

Than I could use after birth.

If I could have run a little faster

Or kicked a ball further away

I’d turn my back on all those things

Because I was a missionary.

If I could have spoken more clearly

And learned how to make a phone call.

If I could have gone on some dates

With the girls I hugged at the mall.

If I had sung hymns a little louder

Or had a job with better pay

I’d turn my back on all those things

Because I was a missionary.

There are many ways to share the joy

Of Christ and His true church.

Walking dusty roads in foreign lands

Even knocking on strangers doors.

Because Jesus said “Come follow me.”

I tried with all of my might

To answer yes to His loving call

With handshakes, hugs and high fives!

I did my best to share His love,

And my knowledge of Heavenly Father.

All who saw me knew I was truly blessed

When watching me with my mother.

Although I wish we were together now

No more burdens do I carry.

I followed Christ to His home on high

So I am still a missionary.

Poem by Cousin Ashley

Joshua - a Poem

By Ashley Larson, Joshua's cousin

October 14, 2006

J

J stands for the Joy

He brought to every girl and boy

O

O stands for how he Openly embraced

Every person that he faced

S

S stands for his Smile

Warm and sweet and so worth while

H

H stands for the Happiness that he brought

With all the lessons that he taught

U

U stands for the Unique person that he was

Always deserving a big applause

A

A stands for the Amazing lessons that he taught to us

Including how to love and trust

We love you Joshua Boy!

Hymnbook Distributor

Hymnbook Distributor --

One of our fondest & funniest [memory] is during Primary when he decided to“re-arrange” the hymn books in the choir section during Opening Exercises. We never knew the hymn books could flyl!

(Debbie Burton - friend)

        A few weeks ago while I was at church I was asked to put hymnbooks on chairs.  As I walked over to the bookcase on the wall, I looked reverently at these beautiful green books and started stacking them in my arms, I smiled in joy at the sweet memories of my handsome boy and the purpose and joy they brought into his life. 

           Joshua took it upon himself to become the hymnbook distributor at church.  Once Joshua discovered this fun task, there was nothing stopping him.  He quickly realized the task at hand when he heard the organ begin to play.   There was no doubt that Joshua truly felt joy and accomplishment at giving out so many hymnbooks!  He absolutely loved to walk over to the wooden hymnbook case, take out a hymnbook and find just the right person to give it to.  It didn’t matter if a person had a hymnbook or not; if Joshua wanted to give them one, people learned to take one anyway.  At times Joshua would finish handing out hymnbooks before the hymn was finished.  It didn’t take long for him to lose his patience, and decide that it was now time to collect the hymnbooks.  I have to say it was a little entertaining to watch people’s  reactions at this tall, skinny young man in the yellow helmet, sauntering over to them, and taking back the very hymnbook he had just given them.  After all, they were still singing the hymn!  But Joshua could not be convinced not to collect the books back once he had decided it was time to do so.  Even today, as I sit in church and sing they hymns, many times I am overcome with emotions and choke back tears thinking about my sweet son distributing hymnbooks amongst the congregation, and wishing so much, that he could take my hymnbook away from me.

---

             One of the best things that Joshua did at church was to make every person feel welcome.  He taught me to be more outgoing, to search for the person who was new or may feel alone, and to talk to as many people as you could.  I was particularly proud of Joshua one day when he his attention was drawn to a gentleman sitting alone toward the back of the congregation.  True to form, Joshua picked up a nearby hymnbook and marched it right over to the gentleman and handed it to him.  Joshua grinned, as he felt accomplishment in his latest task.  But then Joshua picked up another hymnbook, and sauntered over to the same man and handed him a second hymnbook.  The man looked a little confused, but he took the hymnbook.  During the course of the meeting, Joshua continued to find hymnbooks, and bring them over to this same man, and sometimes Joshua would even sit next to him for a few seconds or minutes, with his cute little grin, his legs moving back and forth, his fun greetings of handshakes or tugs on the arm.  At one point as Joshua handed the man yet another hymnbook, he looked at me and asked what he should do.  I asked if he would keep taking the hymnbooks because Joshua wouldn’t understand if he didn’t take them.  The man was a good sport, and went along with Joshua’s enthusiastic and fun game throughout the meeting.  At the end of the meeting, this man had 30 hymnbooks -- three stacks of approximately  ten hymnbooks each that Joshua had given him!  I had fun chatting with the gentleman after the meeting and introducing Joshua.  As I thought about it later, I realized the very important and crucial lesson that Joshua had taught me that day.  Each person that we meet, or that is new or alone, needs to be acknowledged, needed and loved.  Joshua, in his innocent and childish mind, still somehow knew that the most important thing he could do in church that day was to make someone feel so important, and so welcome.  He was and always will be my example.

Favorite Pictures

I love you Joshua Boy!

Some days the ache just seems too great.  I love you so much my Joshua boy, and am always thankful to be your mom forever.  Thinking of you through some of these pictures.