Christmas Candles at Joshua's Grave

Christmas Candles at Joshua's Grave

Jeremy, Jacob, Janson, Jamie and Selma 2014

Me - 2017

Our family tradition is for the kids to all stay overnight on Christmas Eve.  I love this - especially since they are all young adults now!  But it is never complete because we miss our Joshua boy!  This year, we brought candles, a small Christmas tree and decorations and went to Joshua's grave Christmas Eve night.  We each  held our lit candle, and shared stories about the blessing Joshua was in our life.  

Even in his trials, he was always a blessing.

As my friend Kelli Harris so compassionately stated, "Makes me cry and feel joy at the same time."

And that is how I feel about Joshua.  I have a million stories that bring me joy, sweet memories and peace.  But the sorrow of being apart for him for the rest of this life is more difficult than I can express.

I'm so thankful for my wonderful children, for the candles and memories we shared together at Joshua's grave on a cold, dark Christmas Eve night.

Jeremy & Kristen, Jamie & Christian, Janson & Syd, Selma, Jacob - 2017

A Tribute to Great-Grandma Selma Larson

A Tribute to Great-Grandma Selma Larson

I have often thought of Joshua in heaven, hugging his great-grandma Selma, 

and jubilantly calling "Where's Selma?"  

There is so much comfort knowing that this phrase still lives on!

Four Generation Picture

My Grandma Selma, who I was always so honored to be named after, lived about 30 miles away when Joshua was born and was in her early 80s.  She loved to call me on the phone and ask how Joshua was doing.  The beauty of her Swedish accent when she pronounced Joshua's name is one I will always treasure. There was no doubt of the love she had for Joshua, and for me, and for our entire family.  She was a beautiful, soft-spoken, sweet and wonderful grandma.  
I am so thankful to have the above 4-generation picture of my grandma, my dad, me and Joshua!

Grandma Selma holding Joshua!

A beautiful reminder of how she loved to look at Joshua!

My most cherished memories are my homemade Raggedy Ann dolls, homemade apricot jam, Saturdays at her house and climbing her apricot tree, and her delicious Swedish pancakes.  


She was a widow for many years and I love seeing the pictures of her and my grandpa dancing in their Swedish costumes.  Their faces are full of joy!

I have often thought of Joshua in heaven, hugging his great-grandma Selma, and jubilantly calling "Where's Selma?"  There is so much comfort knowing that this phrase still lives on!

My Grandma Selma died in her sleep on my 23rd birthday, when I was six months pregnant with Jeremy.  She was so excited for me to have another baby, and I know she is watching over us from heaven.  I love you Grandma!

A sweet and tender moment!

A Tribute to Grandpa & Grandma Larson - My Parents and Heroes

A Tribute to Grandpa & Grandma Larson

My Parents and Heroes

John & Carol Larson - My Wonderful Parents!

On December 18, 2014, my parents will have been married for 60 years!  I am forever thankful to be one of their 12 children!  They have sacrificed for each one of us, and their huge extended family through each one of their lives!  

My Parents with all 12 of my Siblings!

I clearly remember the day Joshua was born, and the excitement of my parents (he was the 4th of eventually 39 grandchildren).  I can still see my Dad sitting in the chair in my hospital room, and just chuckling with joy!  And my Mom was always looking for ways to help, to lift and bless my life as I adjusted to the demands of being a young mom.

Grandpa holding tight so Joshua won't run away!

And specifically with Joshua, they encouraged, babysat, took him places and especially loved him with all of their hearts.  Although Joshua could be very disruptive, he went to family birthday parties, vacations, reunions, and just loved to hang out at Grandpa & Grandma's house.  For years they gave us week-long breaks in the summer, until one day Joshua had some tough physical aggressions in the bank, and they got stuck and could not get him out.  At this point Joshua had grown much bigger and taller, and they had grown older.

Holding cousin Ashley!

Despite these challenges, they watched and support Joshua at school activities, special needs t-ball and soccer, Special Olympics and many other activities.  

One of our favorite family trips was to Zion National Park throughout Joshua's entire life, where Joshua would throw rocks, chairs, food and hats into the river.  We have many, many sweet memories of this.

They loved to hear their doorbell ring over and over, knowing that Joshua was about to burst in, saying "hi, hi, hi" and then immediately run happily into their backyard to play!  My Dad would jokingly hand me the Windex bottle because we knew by the end of our visit, Joshua's sticky fingerprints would be all over the glass sliding door and many other places.  

Joshua knew that Grandpa (Papa) and Grandma loved him, and this brought him joy throughout his life.  Enjoy some of my favorite pictures throughout the years!

Holding tight again at Zions!

At Uncle Doug's graduation.  Grandma took him everywhere!

More favorite moments with Papa!

A classic precious family picture watching slides.  Notice Joshua's obvious joy!